If you’re single, do you feel bad about it? Especially at holiday time? Or when your happily married friends and relations ask you if you’re seeing anyone, or suggest that you try speed dating?
Being single is considered a bad thing in most cultures. It really isn’t. Even someone like me who’s been in a happy marriage for decades can easily recognize that the uncoupled life comes with some serious advantages. They go way beyond being able to sleep in the middle of the bed. If you’re still single, or newly single, as you head into the new year, here are some reasons to celebrate that fact:
1. Contrary to popular belief, being married doesn’t make you healthier.
Although several studies seemed to show a link between being married and better health, some very thorough, comprehensive studies published in the past year appear to debunk that finding. For example, a 16-year study of 11,000 people in Switzerland found that marriage did not make people healthier and even suggested that their health deteriorated more quickly than that of their single counterparts.
2. Married people aren’t necessarily happier, either.
Similarly, a meta-analysis of studies on life satisfaction did not show that marriage makes people happier, or at least not in the long term. In the short term there might be what’s aptly called a “honeymoon effect” that can make married people briefly happier after they wed, but just like a real honeymoon, that wears off.
3. If you’re single, your marriage can’t break up.
If there’s little evidence that getting married makes you happy, there’s plenty of evidence that getting divorced makes you unhappy. If you’re recently divorced, you probably know this already (and I’m sorry). But research seems to suggest that getting married and then divorced leaves people less happy than they would be if they just stayed single.
Consider the high odds of a marriage ending in divorce–something like 40 percent. That means, statistically speaking, if you get married today, you have almost an even chance of winding up unhappier as a result instead of happier.
4. Your tribe is taking over the world.
More people in the United States and worldwide are living alone than ever before. In this country, 45 percent of those 18 and older are single, either through divorce or the death of a spouse, or because they’ve always been single. When you consider the 2015 Supreme Court ruling that made marriage legal for hundreds of thousands of people whose chosen partners were the same sex, and that there have been more than 120,000 same-sex marriages since then, it’s striking that being single is still on the rise.
Perhaps as a result, more than half of young people today no longer equate marriage–or having children–with becoming an adult. In a Census Bureau report. Completing their education or holding a full-time job are now considered more important proofs of being grown up.
5. You have more free time.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, single people have more leisure time than married people. They spend some of that time getting exercise, which might mean they’re fitter than married people. Given the proven benefits of taking time off, a little extra leisure time translates into a very big benefit. That increase in leisure time and time to themselves may explain why single people also report experiencing more personal growth than their married counterparts.
6. You may be having more sex than married people.
Sexual activity among Americans has dropped significantly in the past 25 years, but that drop has been most pronounced among married people and divorced people (again, sorry). Single people’s sex lives haven’t deteriorated as badly though, and you may now be having sex more often than us married folk.
7. You may also be getting more sleep.
If you’ve never been married, a survey of 2,000 people by Amerisleep suggests that you may be sleeping better than those who are married, widowed, separated, or divorced. It’s not 100 percent clear why, but obviously if you sleep alone, you won’t be awakened when the person next to you starts snoring, or shifting around, or stealing the covers.
Sleep is essential for health and brain function, and the fact that single people get more of it may reflect the fact that they have more time to themselves to think and relax and do things that contribute to both good sleep and personal growth, such as meditation. So single people may not only be better rested, they might actually be more centered, more relaxed, and better able to take on the challenges life throws at them.
Doesn’t that sound like something to celebrate?