Dear Bad Marketer (and if I pointed you specifically to this post, I really do mean you). Stop it.
Stop. It.
Let me give you the rundown on “it” so that you’ll know what to stop:
1.) Cold email – Hey Chris. Here’s something WE want to promote because it benefits us, but we’ll pretend we think it matches your audience even if it has nothing to do with your last 1000 blog posts.
I ignore this email. I delete this email. I used to write “no thanks” with a few more words, but not even that.
2.) Cold email 2 – SUBJECT: Checking In – Hey Chris – I’m just checking in. A few days ago, I sent you something you didn’t ask for and could care less about. How come you didn’t immediately reply to me and offer me up your hard-earned audience so I could promote my stupid thing to them, whether or not it fits their interests?
I ignore this email, too.
3.) Cold email 3 – SUBJECT: Not sure if you saw my previous 2 emails – Hey Chris – at this point, I’m just burning my name into your memory so you can say bad things about me to anyone and everyone you come across and use me as an example without blurring out my name in front of rooms of thousands. Sound good?
Stop It
Here’s what’s wrong with how you’re approaching this:
- You didn’t do your homework. If it really was interesting, I’d have emailed back on the first try.
- You’re using cookie cutter emails. If you actually tried to connect with me, I’m a pretty nice guy and usually curious about a lot of things.
- You’re going way above and beyond the “bugging me” line because you THINK that abundant email equals good marketing.
Stop.
Instead
I will help a little.
- Do better homework – find out who has actually talked recently about the thing you’re looking to have promoted.
- Reach out in a personable way – be a human. Make this a 1:1 interaction. Don’t push your tongue down my throat before we’ve even shaken hands.
- No more than two emails. Ever. If someone doesn’t reply, take the hint. (After the 2nd email, not a 3rd or more.)
This isn’t rocket surgery, but YOU are why people like me go from polite responses to silence. I’m worn out. I’m tired of bad marketers. And again, if I sent you to this post, it’s because you’re currently in the ‘bad marketer’ camp.
What to do Next
Tweet about what an asshole I am.
Tell everyone you know that I’m a dick.
OR
Fix your methods and actually get more success at what you do.
I don’t care which. Just stop.
