Sometimes, Stock Photography just gets it y’know?
GettyPornhub, the reason for the continued existence of this grand human social experiment we call the internet, is joining Walmart, Target, Best Buy and the rest of the pillars of consumerism by offering its own Black Friday deal. It’s not a pile of Pornhub stickers or hoodies (though, an on-sale hoodie wouldn’t be too much to ask), it is something much more valuable over the course of your entire lifetime. It’s a lifetime Pornhub Premium subscription, dubbed “LifePlan”.
Starting on Black Friday, Pornhub users can purchase LifePlan (www.pornhub.com/lifeplan), a lifetime subscription to Pornhub’s HD on-demand premium service — Pornhub Premium — for a one-time fee of $299. This deal only exists until the end of Cyber Monday (December 2nd). Considering the standard annual price of Pornhub Premium is $95.88, this is the price of three years for a lifetime. Pornhub is also offering subscribers the option to get four free months tacked on to a 12 month subscription, but why would you want to bother with that? The math doesn’t work in your favor here. The lifetime price is a better deal.
We go through a lot in life, trials and tribulations so to say. Don’t you want something that is always there to lend a helping hand? Here, maybe this [SFW] promotional video will help explain LifePlan a bit better.
Knowing what this promotional video is advertising, it makes the narration that much more hilarious. Props to creative agency Officer & Gentleman for hitting the mark on this one. I’ve seen a lot of promotional videos for adult content, this is certainly a standout. Officer & Gentleman was previously involved in Pornhub’s Dirtiest Porn Ever campaign as well as other Pornhub projects.
Black Friday is an annual devotion to the gods of consumerism. It’s a time when we spend money with wanton abandon, on tech and toys and gifts and things that we don’t need at all. But porn, porn will always be there no matter how hard society tries to pretend it isn’t. It is an industry that is slowly gaining the mainstream acceptance it deserves. It’s full of people who work for a living. Remember that.
“Every year for Black Friday – which is typically the busiest shopping day of the year – we’re inundated with door-buster deals for electronics, clothes and more. While you’re stocking up on traditional gifts, make sure you treat those you love most with the gift they really want and need,” says Corey Price, VP, Pornhub in a press release. “What’s hotter than a freshly fried latke and better than cuddling up to your yuletide cutie by the fire? A lifetime membership to Pornhub Premium. Bring some cheer this holiday season and give the gift that keeps on giving.”
A tip of the hat for the latke reference Corey. I’ll be consuming about three dozen in a few weeks. Though, I don’t like watching porn with hands coated with sour cream and latke grease.
LifePlan is the only Black Friday deal out there that will be with you for life, unlike that door-buster television with the jankey OLED screen.
Pornhub Premium memberships also offer the gift of 1080p 4K videos, faster streaming, additional content, no ads and virtual reality. Aside from the free library, Pornhub currently houses around 125,000 premium videos, so you’d likely need a lifetime membership to work your way through that. We live in the age of content, some of that content is porn. Hell, a lot of that content is porn. Since we’re paying for porn again, may as well get the best price possible.