Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
The possibilities were becoming ever narrower.
The more experts put HQ2 and 2 together, they were convinced that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos would put the site of Amazon’s second headquarters in or near Washington D.C.
Now, the Washington Post has revealed that the location will actually, well, probably, well, maybe Crystal City, Virginia, just south of D.C.
The paper insists that Amazon’s prime negotiators are discussing “how quickly it would move employees there, which buildings it would occupy and how an announcement about the move would be made to the public, according to people close to the process.”
That would be the Washington Post owned by, oh, Jeff Bezos.
Buildings in Crystal City that were available for lease have, apparently, suddenly become unavailable. Or perhaps they’re now only available via Amazon Prime.
There are reportedly tightened lips and fervent hopes.
If Amazon puts HQ2 in Crystal City (Arlington VA), current Metro service will certainly be inadequate for the addition of 50,000 jobs. Crystal City today has about 22,000 jobs on site, so this would be a doubling or tripling of jobs depending on whether current jobs stay on site. https://t.co/rk8nLGP0wc
— Yonah Freemark (@yfreemark) November 3, 2018
Well, when I say serene, I mean the buttoned-up serenity that comes with Crystal City enjoying many defense contractors having their offices there, as well as the Pentagon.
Ronald Reagan Airport is also in the county and definitely has room for Bezos’s private jets.
There could, though, be painfully crystal disappointment.
You never know which other location near Washington might still be in the running for a decision expected to be made before Christmas.
The choice of Crystal City would, though, bring one enormous positive.
It would end a slightly absurd dangling of jobs and investment by a company that seemed to believe a beauty contest would somehow enhance its image.
As it’s dragged on, however, it’s become a tinge tawdry.
There comes a point where local administrations’ cap-doffing has become painful to conceive, as they attempting to hide just how much — many suspect — they were dangling Bezos’s way.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if Amazon had discreetly met with candidates without announcements of any kind.
But to make a show of it, running it to a list of finalists from more than 200 entrants, offered a type of reality TV that doesn’t quite rival Real Housewives.
Bezos says this is a decision Amazon will take using intuition.
It’s sad that the company’s intuition didn’t lead it toward refraining from executive-producing reality TV.
The genre has become a touch discredited of late.