As a leader, it can be hard to get an honest pulse on what your team thinks about you.
On the one hand, employees (often rightfully) believe that telling you about your negative traits will impact their career. While on the other side, it’s incredibly difficult for us to see ourselves through someone else’s eyes. Psychologists call this transparency illusion–where we all believe we’re open books and that our intentions are clear to those around us.
But work is all about relationships. And personal and professional growth can only happen when you know where you stand in the eyes of those you work with. Which is why senior leadership coach Kristi Hedges suggests doing a “presence audit”.
Simply put, a presence audit is a performance review about your soft skills. Rather than looking at how good you do your job, it highlights how others perceive you, how you come across, and your communication skills.
The audit is quite simple and only involves asking a few well-worded questions to key individuals. Here’s how it works:
Step 1: Select five people you interact with on a regular basis at work
This could be bosses, executives, direct reports, peers, or even former colleagues. The key is to find influential co-workers who might know you in more than one aspect of your work and life. Find people who you trust and feel open with, but who you know will tell it to you straight.
Step 2: Schedule a face-to-face meeting
Be clear this is a personal and confidential meeting and that you’re talking to several people. Make the request in person if you can as people are more likely to participate if they can see you.
Step 3: Ask two simple questions
Remember to dig deeper than just your performance. If someone defers to talking about your skills, simply tell them “I appreciate that feedback. May I go up a level now and ask about the general perception of me as a leader/colleague?”
Step 4: Manage your reaction
No one likes hearing negative things about themselves, but resist the temptation to defend your actions or show your disappointment. We feed off visual cues during a conversation and your interviewee might start pulling their punches if you react negatively or show that you’re upset. Ask for details or examples if you need them and end with a sincere thank you.
Step 5: find the themes that come up and adjust accordingly
After your five interviews you should start to see themes emerge. Maybe people perceive you as negative and hard to work with when you thought you were being analytical and thoughtful. Distill the comments down, and find ways to adjust your behavior to be more in line with how you want to be seen. Change your communication style or how you give feedback. Often all it takes is small changes to be seen differently.