What are some coping strategies for dealing with a lot of professional rejection? originally appeared on Quora – the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
Answer by Racheline Maltese, Romance novelist and a writer/producer on Tremontaine, on Quora:
The coping strategies for the rejection that comes with artistic careers are as varied as the people out there doing creative work. But regardless of this, there are certain logistical things that are must-dos.
For writers, you always need to be writing something new, and when you get a rejection you always need to be able to get some more material out the door — whether it’s the work that just got rejected or a new piece. To get to yes you have to do a lot of asking in this life, so getting your ducks in a row so you can make that happen even when you’re feeling down about a no, it is really important.
Emotionally, other people can and will and should give you advice about how you are not your work, and you just need to roll with it and not take stuff personally. This is all true, and they are not wrong, but it’s also not how all of us are wired.
If you feel sad, take four hours to wallow and then get up and do the work. If you feel angry, yell at yourself or the wall or the TV (do not yell at whoever rejected you), and then get up and do the work. Feel the emotions you have to feel, vent (in private and not on other people) the emotions you need to vent.
Accept that ambition is a virtue, that you’re allowed your envy and frustration, and then work harder. At the end of the day, no one cares if you write an award-winning book out of love or spite, they just care that the book exists.
Basically, I recommend that you don’t waste time trying to change your emotional reaction to rejection, but that you do invest time learning how to channel that reaction into producing more and better work.
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